In college, I stayed single for a long time. I had a fair amount of boyfriends and dates in high school – and I really enjoyed kissing. I enjoyed kissing a lot of different gentlemen. It was fun.
Not the pinnacle of my life, but I’d like to think it shaped me to be who I am now. An interesting person with interesting stories. Plus, I think people with tarty pasts make for well rounded people.
But I am totally biased.
Come college, I thought it would be fish in a barrel again. Which was completely inaccurate. Also, college did not come as easy to me as high school had. I ended up getting serious about making “just friends” and enjoying life. The pursuit of those with the Y chromosomes would wait.
Then I met my college boyfriend. I had gone over to a guy friends’ house off campus, where he happen to live. What I remember about that first conversation was his humor and that he was keeping up. I took notice.
My wit, jokes, and personality can be difficult to keep up with – but he was there, beat for beat. I remember leaving and thinking “That guy is cool. I hope we get to be friends.”
Spoiler alert: We dated. It didn’t work out. We broke up. Twice. Still a little salty with myself about that.
I don’t remember where I was when I first heard “It Never Entered My Mind” – Miles Davis. I, obviously, have an obsession with music. In my years of endless free time (waddup 4 hour naps in college), I would spend most of it scouring the Internet for new music.
I teared up like the absolute cheeseball that I am the first time I heard that song. It’s funny, isn’t it? Music, art, etc. how anything effects you emotionally.
But then I forgot about it, because Coldplay came out with a new album.
Viva La Vida, in case you were curious.
Somehow, the song came back around. And it meant something more than it had originally. The sweet, easy tempo of the song seemed to reflect the ease of our relationship. The relationship was relatively easy and peaceful, when all I had previously known was the tempest of teenage romance.
Sure, there were challenges. I’m opinionated, stubborn, needy, passionate and a little jealous. He had things too. But it just felt. . . Effortless. Until it wasn’t anymore. Then, it ended.
I always listened to my iPod on my walk to classes, and this damn song would come on shuffle. It would make me mad. Frustrated. Annoyed. But mostly just sad. Sad that there was nothing there anymore. It was a difficult time trying to figure out what to do now that this person wasn’t there anymore.
But I did figure it out. I became more open to adventures I had closed off, because I was waiting for our relationship to become the main adventure. But the end gave way to more.
I see that relationship as a gateway to better things: moving away from my home state, traveling the world, going to grad school – doing things that I wouldn’t have been able to do without the swift kick in the ass that the break up was.
It’s nice how things don’t work out, isn’t it?